hippychick

the words she speaks are true to life and honest…poetry to me.

I admire her then and now…especially now because of her involvement with Kabballa.

well i want to say 2005 was great…it was but with alot of heartache mixed in. On March 26th my uncle was found dead in his house…where i lived on the property (in a renovated barn he fixed for me and my 76 yr old aunt) extremely tragic…and about 4 hrs after finding out about my uncle…i get a call from one of my (hysterical)best friends that our friend Paige was killed in a car accident…i truly went into shock. She has 3 young boys and a wonderful husband who i just cant bear to think about sometimes because the pain is unbearable…i think ive blocked out much of this because like i keep saying it just hurts…and the aftermath of these deaths has been troubling. my family is torn apart (again) a big sicilian family who are all about respect and honor and the major players in the family are being disrespectful and dishonorable. my uncles son is the most surprising…he is extremely upset (obviously) and is just angry at the rest of us because (i think) he needs an outlet for his emotions. i did finish medical assisting school and during the summer i spent alot of time with my boyfriend and my friends…trying to heal. then unexpectedly i was asked to move out of our family compound (my uncles son asked me to) and that was very emotional. i moved in sept. and i am still feeling out of my element. when i moved into this apt. my allergies and asthma got so bad and the dr. ordered prednisone…ugh…and then an inhaled steroid…well i dont respond well to these..they make every bite of food i eat go on as fat!!! and i weighed less than 120 when i started and god knows what i weigh now…last i checked i was 140! and its gotten worse since…so that adds to the depression i feel…so im glad the holidays are over and this year i am going to try to get healthy…get this xtra weight off and try to be happy and realize that this is just life…relax….